Loose Yourself

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you,
it’s only when you leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of
sperm when mating.
Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?
To see if you really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today,
tomorrow you have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures. They don’t have sex
with their husbands for weeks and then they
want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls – ‘Olympic sex’.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife:  Not really.  It only happens once in 4 years.

This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan~
“We stare because we care!”

A loud scream comes from the bedroom
and the husband runs in.  He sees a guy
leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just sc**wed me twice!
Husband: Twice?  Why didn’t you call me in after
he sc**wed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you,
until he started the second time.

What is the difference between
a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the
baby is the result of standing c**k.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
~ Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man’s underwear?
~ Banana split.

What’s the difference between a bomb & a condom?
In a bomb blast, population decreases and
if a condom blasts, population increases.

*** Hope you had fun…. =) ***